My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she woke up with a sticky ear
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize