omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Randomize
