Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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