I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
