I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize