Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I wish you could order shots online.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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