So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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