I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
