Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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