we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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