I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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