I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
