I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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