i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize