how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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