South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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