it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
