someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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