I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize