Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
