Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
third nipple confirmed
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
