very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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