I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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