I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
