a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
do nipples grow back?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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