I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
