oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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