i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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