Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
