Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
