He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
