I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Hello my rib-scented angel!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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