And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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