Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
