So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
