I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
