I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize