i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
