do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize