4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Found your dick twin last night
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
