can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
