he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
