Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Randomize