Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize