I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
