sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My breath smells like gin and sadness
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
