how do flat chested girls get laid?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
