I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
