Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
