she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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