Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Randomize
