I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
