Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
