Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
How drunk are you?
Completed.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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