He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
