there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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