Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
