Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
