haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
