I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
