You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
