There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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