If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
