Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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