ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
