I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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