i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize